| It is very important
that when a victim of sexual abuse comes forth
and reports the crime to family, friends, law
enforcement, and others, that he or she be listened
to in the most sincere fashion possible. Studies
have shown that the most credible account of
what occurred during a rape or child molestation
comes from the victim him/herself. Studies suggest
that approximately 3-5% of all rape or child
molestation allegations that are reported are
false...Therefore, nearly 95% are based on a
factual incident. When a victim comes forth
and reports the crime, there will almost undoubtedly
be two sides to the story: the victim's disclosure
and the offender's. It is important to remember
that the offender will most likely find people
to support his/her story. This is a part of
the offender's mode of operation--to have a
planned out alibi with people to support it.
When the victim is related to the offender,
a sharp divide may consume the family system,
with some family members supporting the alleged
offender's story and others supporting the victim's.
This divide not only serves to facilitate familial
dysfunction, but also can severely traumatize
the victim and create a very strong perception
of shame and guilt for reporting.
There are thousands of victims of sexual abuse
that never come forward and report the crime.
This may be due to a number of factors. First,
the grooming technique an offender uses can
make the victim feel as if he or she was an
active participant in the abuse itself. If the
victim feels this way, they may not report the
crime because they may feel responsible in some
way. A rape victim may not report the crime
out of fear, since many rapists will tell the
victim that if they disclose the crime, he will
return (however, very few rapists actually do).
The victim of sexual abuse may be very aware
that people may doubt his/her disclosure, their
character, their choices, and because of this
perception, they may not disclose. This would
be considered the community reaction to the
crime, and it includes boyfriends/husbands,
the police, neighbors, family, the court, etc.
There are still numerous people in our society
that feel that rape is justified under certain
conditions. Many people believe that a prostitute
"cannot" be raped. Just imagine if
a prostitute entered a police station and reported
that she had just been raped. If the police
are aware that she is a prostitute, how might
they react? Moreover, maybe the woman chooses
not to tell the officers that she is a prostitute.
How would she relate the dynamics of the crime?
How would the police react when they discover
she is a prostitute?
In an American Medical Association study, over
half of the 6000 teenagers stated that there
were some circumstances under which rape is
acceptable, such as if the male and female had
dated six months or longer or if he'd spent
considerable money on her.
Much of the psychological damage a victim receives
comes not from the assault itself, but from
the post assault reactions from others. It is
very important that police investigators and
prosecutors recognize how their behavior with
the victim affects not only the immediate and
long-term ability to deal with the incident,
but also his or her willingness to assist in
a prosecution. Recognizing this fact, the first
people who come in contact with a victim post
assault have an opportunity to set the stage,
through their behavior and reactions, for an
easier or more difficult recovery for the victim.
It is important to understand that there is
no single, standard, or "appropriate"
victim response to rape or molestation. There
would be two general response types that many
victims follow: expressive or guarded. Some
victims will be very verbal, be in tears, and
be angry, and so forth following the offense.
Others will be guarded, quiet, attempt to go
on. Some victims may switch back and forth from
being expressive to guarded.
When a sexual assault occurs, there are numerous
victims that are produced. Obviously, there
is the primary victim--the one in which the
assault was directly targeted to. There are
many other secondary victims. The children of
the victim, husband, and other family members.
They will all grieve in their own way, and it
is important for professionals to assist everyone
involved.
Investigators, juries, judges, prosecutors,
and everyone else must understand that rape
victims, immediately following the assault,
may not react with all of their normal faculties.
When someone suffers a traumatic event, it may
take a while for your head to clear and your
heart rate to return to normal. For sexual assault
victims, this temporary detachment may result
in delays in reporting...Which can also hinder
a successful prosecution. If there is a delay
in reporting the assault, it is imperative that
investigators and prosecutors do not berate
her, or challenge her for not reporting immediately.
Instead, they should recognize the courage it
takes to report a crime of this nature (and
to survive such crimes), and no one should ever
second-guess the victim’s tactics in handling
the crisis.
Many victims of sexual abuse do fully recover.
This is not to suggest that they ever forget
about what occurred, because they do not. However,
they can, with the help of family, friends,
and professionals, go on with their lives and
be happy again.
Victims of Child Molestation
Being sexually abused as a child or as a teenager
can have a wide-range of both short and long-term
effects. Many times, the offenders will try
and use the following line in their defense,
"if I really sexually abused him/her, why
did she still want to play with me?". I
will also be told from family members of offenders
that the alleged victim and offender are very
close and have a good relationship. These dynamics
can be very confusing (especially for the victim)
for mental health professionals, law enforcement,
judges, and prosecutors. How can a child be
sexually abused by someone close to him/her,
yet still want to "play" with that
person, or have a relationship with that person?
The reason this may occur is due to what we
call grooming, or the method the offender used
to have the victim comply with his or her wishes.
For instance, if the offender was very nice
to the victim prior to the offending, bought
gifts, or gave special attention to the victim,
the child victim would naturally yearn for such
behaviors or items. Just as important, however,
is the fact that the victim may be a close relative
to the offender, and truly does not want the
offender to leave (especially if this is in
conjunction with gifts and attention); however,
this does not mean the victim wants the abuse
to continue.
Many people erroneously believe that child
victims of sexual abuse are always traumatized
by the abuse, and overtly angry with the offender.
Sometimes this could not be farther from the
truth. I have worked with both adult men and
women who have been sexually abused as children,
who state that they were not traumatized, nor
did they want the offender to be incarcerated.
Did the sexual abuse affect them? Of course,
just not in a traumatic way. The abuse may have
affected their boundaries, sexual interests
and behaviors, trust, and sexual orientation;
however, it did not traumatize them. What may
traumatize them, however, is the reaction from
others. For instance, if the child and offender
were caught by the child's mother, and the mother,
rightfully so, goes ballistic. Within minutes
the police arrive and take the child away. In
a few hours, the child is being interviewed
by child protective service workers, who may
be acting like something traumatic happened.
The child will then interpret the entire situation
as traumatic, even if the child did not interpret
the abuse, at the time, as traumatic.
A very high degree of psychological damage
can occur if the offender makes the victim feel
physical pleasure during the offense(s). This
will produce a level of guilt and shame that
is very powerful. Moreover, the victim is less
likely to disclose the abuse, and if he or she
does, they are very likely to minimize it. This
would be because the victim may feel partly
to blame for the abuse because they experienced
pleasure (this is a grooming technique). I have
treated countless victims who, after the abuse
was revealed (either through someone observing,
or indirectly), did not disclose the full extent.
They fear they will get in trouble for not telling
themselves, and fear and shame because they
experienced physical pleasure. As the victims
grow older, they may be unable to process the
abuse, and continue to blame both themselves
as well as the offender. The shame produced
can be so intense as to create suicidal ideation,
a loss of "self", and self-destructive
behaviors.
Victims of child sexual abuse can go on to
lead normal, healthy lives. They can learn to
let go of the pain, and to increase their self-awareness
of how the abuse affected them. Sometimes it
takes the right therapist, just the right book,
or even just time.
Return to
The American Academy of Experts in Traumatic
Stress Homepage
Rosenberg and Associates can
be reached at www.angelfire.com/mi/collateral/victims.html.
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